If your marriage has, unfortunately, ended in a divorce, there are a few things you should remember. This doesn’t mean you’re bad at relationships, and this doesn’t have to be your only opportunity. There are many reasons for a relationship or marriage to end, and it takes two to tango – so don’t blame yourself. Whatever the reason, when the deed is done, take your time to mourn the relationship but then grasp the opportunity to reacquaint yourself with love.
One of the hardest things people find about divorce is loneliness, there used to always someone back at the house you could talk to and now they are gone. That is when you might start thinking about needing someone to talk to, to cuddle with, or just share what’s bothering you. But are these really the signals that you should start dating? What is the “right time” after a divorce that you can start dating?
Remember dating after a divorce is different for every person. Considering how your marriage ended, you may have different needs and feelings. This is exactly why you need to take some time before you start dating again, to really evaluate where you are in your life and what you need for yourself and other. And yes, you need to put a stop to those desperate attempts at matchmaking that your friends and family will try to make – good intentions or no.
During the initial months of your divorce, your emotions and feelings are going to be haywire. One day you will feel grateful to be free and the next you’ll be longing for someone to be with. Perhaps you will be excited to start afresh once you’re divorced, or you may have resentment towards dating, harboring grudges for the entire population and generalizing everyone with your spouse. These feelings are entirely natural and everyone who goes through a divorce certainly has to experience each and every one of these. But don’t let this stop you from moving on in your life – whether that is pursuing dating or choosing to remain single.
Taking time is important, you should wait until you feel you are ready to allow someone in your life again. Dating doesn’t always have to lead to commitment but it certainly is the first step of being in a relationship so you need to be certain if you are ready to be involved in someone. Don’t rush into dating to satisfy your depression or anxiety. Waiting for a few months will not make you miss out on anything and you will be in a better position to approach a relationship. The key here is to keep yourself calm and gather your emotions in one place before you can take the next step and date.
There will be plenty of men and women who would love to be with you. Just make sure you are ready and then go ahead and date all you want. Nobody said that a divorce means the end of a happy life. Your second chance at happiness could begin now.
Divorce in New York City – How does your city compare?
Here are some things to think about in regards to the divorce rates in your state.
You are not alone, 9.5% of men and 12% of women in the USA are divorced currently. In the state of New York City, that rate is 10.5% for men and 12.5% for women.
Listed below are some cities where the divorce percentages are considerably above or below the state average.
|
New York City City |
Divorced Men 13% Divorced Women 14% |
|
Topeka |
Divorced Men 14% Divorced Women 17% |
|
Lawrence |
Divorced Men 7% Divorced Women 10% |
|
Manhattan |
Divorced Men 6% Divorced Women 7.5% |
|
Salina |
Divorced Men 13% Divorced Women 16% |
|
Hutchinson |
Divorced Men 14% Divorced Women 17% |
|
Leavenworth |
Divorced Men 13.5% Divorced Women 16% |
|
Leawood |
Divorced Men 5.5% Divorced Women 8% |
|
Prairie Village |
Divorced Men 9% Divorced Women 15.5% |
|
Pittsburg |
Divorced Men 8% Divorced Women 14% |